Larry-bob's stats!

There's something that's not on my webpage that's on seemingly the majority of webpages done by gay men: stats.

What are stats? They are numbers that (truthfully or not) express selected physical dimensions of a person - height, weight, waist size, cock size, biceps, chest, belly, shoe size, inseam, hat size, handspan, maximum dilation of asshole, etc.

You'll find none of that here, no matter how hard you look. You might be able to figure out my age by a little detective work. The rest you'll have to leave to your imagination.

Why I don't: my website isn't a glorified personal ad. I already have a boyfriend, but even if I was looking, I doubt I would resort to that sort of numerical physical representation. I'm more interested in whether people have interests and what those interests are.

Why do people print stats? Because it is a way of quantifying a person physically, even if it says nothing about what music they listen to or what books they read. Because for some people numbers are erotic. Because I can't read people's minds.

I was never one for applied mathematics - I prefer the abstract beauty of Mandlebrot sets. I never took a statistics course. But here at every turn, I'm confronted with statistics.

What I'd suggest as an alternative: don't beg for a boyfriend on your website. State that you're single, but concentrate on making useful resources or interesting creative expression. Likely boyfriend material will naturally follow. Of course, relying on the web for boyfriends is pathetic, and you should go out in the world and volunteer - fight the right wing, feed the hungry, or free the animals. You'll meet real guys who do stuff in addiation to scouring web sites for dull statistics.


Larry-bob's Generic Queer Homepage Introduction
past rants
Back to main Holy Titclamps page